


A Legendary Encore

by KB9VCN



Category: Zombieland Saga (Anime)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor, Literally break-dancing, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-08 04:35:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17379674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KB9VCN/pseuds/KB9VCN
Summary: Published 10-Jan-2019; humor; about 2100 words.For the31_days"Fill yourself with the song— sing. Do not sink" prompt.This probably takes shortly after the end of the first season of the anime.This contains slapstick violence and zombie shenanigans, some adult humor, and feels.  Reader discretion is advised.





	A Legendary Encore

**Author's Note:**

> Published 10-Jan-2019; humor; about 2100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](https://31-days.dreamwidth.org/) "[Fill yourself with the song— sing. Do not sink](https://31-days.dreamwidth.org/3363725.html)" prompt.
> 
> This probably takes shortly after the end of the first season of the anime.
> 
> This contains slapstick violence and zombie shenanigans, some adult humor, and feels. Reader discretion is advised.

The seven members of Franchouchou were sitting in their folding chairs in the basement dungeon in their usual order. They watched Kotaro stride into the room with varying degrees of interest and/or suspicion.

Kotaro walked up to Tae at the right end of the row. "Good morning, Tae," said Kotaro.

"Rrugh," said Tae.

"Good morning, Saki," said Kotaro as he moved to his left.

"Uh... mornin'?" Saki said, not sure what to make of Kotaro's unusually subdued greeting.

Kotaro ignored Ai and moved two seats to his left. "Good morning Sakura." said Kotaro.

"Good morning!" Sakura said cheerfully.

And then, Kotaro suddenly turned on Ai— and shrieked in her face at the top of his voice. " **AAAAAUGH!!** "

A startled Ai fell over backwards in her chair. Sakura and Saki also both recoiled, and poor Lily suffered the first heart attack of the day.

Kotaro stood back. "Can anyone tell me what we've just learned?" he asked.

Ai jumped to her feet, seething with righteous wrath. Instead of answering him, she folded up her chair, swung it over her head, and slammed Kotaro to the floor, as if he were a guest on a tabloid talk show.

"AI- _CHAN_!!" cried Sakura. "Don't you think that was a bit much, even though he—"

Ai raised the folded chair again. "IS THERE A PROBLEM!?" she snarled.

"Nope," Sakura squeaked. "No problem here."

"Damn, girl," Saki said mostly to herself. "You shoulda run with my old gang." 

Kotaro struggled to his feet, and then brushed the dust from his suit and vest. "* _ahem_ * As I started to say, before I was so RUDELY interrupted... can anyone tell me what we've just learned?"

"Well, it ain't that yer a complete bastard," Saki said thoughtfully. "We all already knew that."

"You've barely begun your new careers, and yet, you've already grown complacent!!" Kotaro opened his laptop and brought up a messageboard thread on Franchouchou's latest concert. "Even the fans have noticed that, while your performances have become more polished and self-assured, you've lost the novelty and spontaneity of your early appearances. In other words, you've lost the element of SURPRISE!!"

"But our backing music is pre-recorded, and our dance routines are pre-planned," Junko protested.

"Choreography with seven dancers is difficult," Ai added. "There's no time or space for surprises."

"Ai an' Junko are the real pros," Saki said, "but if yer wantin' improvisation, I'm up for a rap-battle rematch with the egg."

"You're on the right track," Kotaro said, "but still, you've already done that. We need to do something NEW! Something EXCITING! Something that NO IDOL GROUP HAS EVER DONE BEFORE!!"

"And what is that, exactly?" Sakura asked.

Kotaro shrugged. "Beats the snot out of me."

"Can I?" Ai asked eagerly. "Beat the snot out of you, that is."

"Maybe later," Kotaro said. "But first— we still have a wholly untapped source of creativity! And it's time to let her take the lead, and TAKE US WHERE FOOLS FEAR TO TREAD!!"

"Um, do you mean 'where angels fear to tread'?" Junko asked.

"And who do ya mean?" Saki asked, curious despite herself.

Kotaro struck a pose and pointed with both hands to his right...

...at Tae.

"Rrugh?" asked Tae.

"Oh NO!" Sakura cried. "You WOULDN'T!"

"Oh YES!" Kotaro said predictably. "I WOULD!!"

"As the leader o' Franchouchou, I—" Saki started to say.

"OVER-RULED!!" Kotaro declared before she could finish.

"I don't mind helping with choreography," Ai growled, "but if you're asking me to arrange an entire song around TAE, then I—"

"ALSO OVER-RULED!!" Kotaro said. "Does anyone else have a question?... Junko! GO!!"

"May I request a transfer to another regional zombie idol group?" Junko asked timidly.

"NO!!" Kotaro said. "Anyone else? Sakura! GO!!"

"Can I just be dead again?" Sakura asked sadly.

"NO!!" Kotaro said. "Anyone else? Lily! GO!!"

"Why are you such an awful, awful person?" Lily asked with an empty smile and wide lifeless eyes devoid of all hope.

"When one breaks the laws of man and nature to RAISE the freakin' DEAD," Kotaro said, "one can't be afraid to break all the freakin' rules! Anyone else? Yugiri! GO!!"

"I am grateful that I finally have a speaking part," Yugiri asked, "but do you think I might get a fan-fiction of my own soon? This author has written only two ZLS one-shots so far, but both of them are Tae-centric, and I didn't even get a backstory episode in the anime to date."

"This author is a Tae fanboy, and so you might have to try your luck with another author," a sympathetic Kotaro said. "But in the meantime, please don't break the fourth wall. Anyone else? TAE! GO!!"

"Rrugh!? Rugh ugh ugh grugh ugh! Ugh rugh ugh ugh grugh rugh ugh! Ugh grugh ugh! Grugh! Ugh ugh ugh! Rugh rugh grugh rugh rugh ugh ugh ugh! Grugh ugh rugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh! Rrugh! Grugh! Rrugh! Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh! GRUGH!?" Tae asked.

"YES!! YES YOU MAY!!" Kotaro said. "ANYONE ELSE NO GOOD!! GO GO GO!! GO FRANCHOUCHOU GO!! GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!!"

—

The other six girls escorted Tae to their rehearsal studio, and then they stood around her and stared at her expectantly.

Tae stared back at them. "...rrugh?" she finally said.

"She ain't doin' anything," Saki pointed out helpfully.

"Maybe she doesn't understand what Kotaro- _san_ wants," Sakura said.

"As if ANY of us EVER understood what he wants," Ai muttered. 

Sakura gently held Tae's face to get her attention. "Tae- _chan_? I know we're always trying to stop you from, well, doing anything. But you're the leader for today. You can do whatever you want, and we'll try to follow along, OK? Go ahead, sweetie. We're waiting."

Sakura released her and stood back. Tae blinked once or twice in confusion and scratched behind one lock of dog-eared hair. "Rrugh," she said.

But then, her eyes lit up. And THEN, Tae did something that she still rarely did, despite her relatively less feral behavior of late...

[Tae smiled](https://randomc.net/image/Zombieland%20Saga/Zombieland%20Saga%20-%2012%20-%20Large%2007.jpg).

The other six girls instinctively huddled together and whimpered.

[[TWENTY MINUTES LATER](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5r7Pr4RfgU)]

The seven members of Franchouchou were lying on the floor— every one of them in several pieces after their bodies had failed to withstand the effort of keeping up with Tae— including Tae herself.

"[Boy, that escalated quickly](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed5Bh_DbHPU)," Sakura's head said from the top of a small pile of assorted zombie parts in the middle of the room. "I mean, that REALLY got 'out of hand' fast!"

"What are we gonna do NOW!?" Saki's head said from off to one side— while also lying ON one side.

"Does anyone still have a head and at least one arm attached to their torso?" Ai's head asked. "...anyone? Please?"

No one's head replied. "Well," Ai said grimly, "I don't think we're going to be able to do much of ANYTHING for the time being."

"I just can't even!" Junko said in a panic. "I mean, I LITERALLY JUST CAN'T EVEN!"

"Try to keep it together, Jun—" Saki started to say. "...oops. Sorry."

"You should choose your words more carefully!" Ai said to Saki. "After all, this is the state in which poor Junko DIED!"

"It's not THAT," Junko cried. "Tae is chasing me again!"

"Wait— WHAT!?" Saki said. "HOW is she doin' THAT!?"

"She's dragging her head toward my head with her lips!" Junko explained.

"Rrmph grmph rrmph," Tae confirmed.

"Tae! Stop that!" Sakura said sternly.

"How are you going to stop her!?" Ai asked Sakura.

"Tae! [Stop!... or I'll say stop again](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNBG5lgh6Nw)," Sakura said weakly.

"Come to think of it, how can any of us even TALK?" Ai said. "We don't have lungs to draw breath across our vocal cords."

"Ai- _chan_?" said Sakura. "I know that none of this makes sense... but right now, answering that question is the least of our problems."

"Fair enough," Ai agreed.

The room fell silent for a moment.

Sakura's head suddenly wobbled. "Ai- _chan_?" she asked again. "Where's your hand?"

"Between two pillows," Ai said.

"[THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2pu0m9iTo4&t=52s)" Sakura whimpered. "Could you please move your hand?"

"Well, I'll try," Ai said.

"HIEEE!!!" Sakura gasped. "Could you please STOP moving your hand!?"

"Make up your mind, would you!?" Ai snapped.

The room fell silent again. But this time, the silence was noticeably more uncomfortable.

"By the way," Lily suddenly asked, "has anyone seen my—"

"NO," Saki said. "NO WE HAVEN'T SEEN IT. YOU CAN LOOK FOR IT YOUR OWN DAMN SELF."

"I was asking about my STAR," Lily said indignantly. "I don't know what YOU'RE thinking about!"

"Y'know, I'd kick you out of Franchouchou," Saki grumbled, "if I still had a foot to kick you with."

"HA HA!" Lily said smugly. "You don't even have a leg to stand on!... of course, I don't have one either."

"Laugh while you can, shrimpy," Saki growled. "You had better hope that you get put back together before me."

"Are you there, Yugiri- _san_?" asked Lily. "I might need your help with not getting torn into even smaller pieces."

"Yes, I'm here," Yugiri said reassuringly. "Don't worry - I've already done far more perverted 'plays' than this."

An even more awkwardly uncomfortable silence fell over the room.

And then, Kotaro walked into the room. He blinked in surprise, and then crossed his arms and scowled at his charges. "How do you dumb-ass zombies expect to save Saga," he cried, "if you FALL APART at the slightest difficulty!?"

At least three or four random dismembered arms instinctively gave Kotaro the finger.

—

A few days later, Franchouchou ran back on stage for an encore following a performance with remarkably little structural damage to the stage.

"Thank you!!" Saki said in her Outdoor Voice. "We'd like ta do somethin' a little different for ya before we send ya home. Here's our Number Zero and our Number One!"

As Sakura held up her wireless microphone and took a deep breath, Tae shambled up behind her and did what Tae did best— she gave her best friend an extended skull-top love-bite. From the audience, it looked like she was only hugging Sakura from behind.

"This... is my friend," Sakura said as a slower backing track began to play. "Not so long ago, I was feeling down, and I kept pushing her away... and every time I pushed her away, she came back. She never gave up on me."

Ai and Junko shared a side hug, Yugiri gave Lily a maternal embrace, and then Saki hugged all four of them. They gently swayed behind Sakura and Tae as she continued her spoken-word vocal.

"And these are my friends too," an increasingly emotional Sakura said. "I said and did some really mean things to them, and I kept running away from them.... and every time I ran away from them, they came back. They never gave up on me either."

The audience stared at Sakura as if they were transfixed. "I hope all of you out there have friends as good as mine," she said. "But if you don't, I hope all of you keep looking for friends. You can find the best friends you've ever had in the strangest places at the strangest times.

"Just remember that your friends are there for you. Life... and other things besides life... are really hard, an' it's OK to be sad, an' even angry, once in awhile. It's alright. Your friends are there for you. And Franchouchou is here for you. We're all here for you, and we love you!"

"We're Franchouchou!!" Saki shouted after brushing away a few tears. "Nice to meet ya!!"

Sakura (and Tae) waved as the backing track ended and the other girls left the stage. "GOOD MORNING SAGA!!" she shouted. "WE LOVE YOU!!"

As the applause ended, the house lights came on... and there were few dry eyes on the floor.

"I LOVE YOU MAN!!" a certain pale and skinny metal-head said tearfully to the colorful heavyset metal-head beside him.

"I'M SO HAPPY!!" the other metal-head said while incongruously bawling like a baby.

Franchouchou filtered backstage and walked up to Kotaro. "How was that, Shades?" asked a still-tearful Saki.

"If that was the best you could do," a _tsundere_ Kotaro grumbled, "I suppose it will have to suffice."

"Kotaro- _san_!" said Sakura. "Are YOU crying?"

"Am not!" Kotaro said.

"ARE TOO!" Saki said.

"AM NOT!" Kotaro said.

"Shut up and let us all hug you," Sakura suggested.

"Oh, FINE," Kotaro sighed as he carefully rubbed his eyes without removing his sunglasses.

After a tender moment, Kotaro spoke again. "Ouch!"

"What's wrong?" Ai asked.

"Tae bit me," Kotaro said.

"A little biting never hurt anybody," Sakura reminded him.


End file.
